


High Fashion, Low Fashion

by reymanova



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, im bad at titling things idk what you want from me, inspired by the prompt "put. it. down."
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 09:03:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21389590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reymanova/pseuds/reymanova
Summary: In which Patrick gives David shit for his fashion choices.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 10
Kudos: 106





	High Fashion, Low Fashion

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written fic in a year and a half and I’ve never written anything outside of the AoS fandom, but something about tonight inspired me, and there is nothing I love more than Patrick fucking with David.

“Put. It. Down.” 

David swiped at the sweater in Patrick’s hands, but Patrick laughed and jumped up onto Alexis’s bed, holding it just out of his reach (an admittedly difficult task given their height differential). “Not until you explain this monstrosity to me. Is it _supposed_ to look like it’s been eaten by moths?”

The extremely fuzzy — one might venture to call it furry — black sweater was adorned by gaping holes of all sizes, giving it the impression of moldy Swiss cheese. 

“It’s _high fashion_, Patrick, something you wouldn’t know the first thing about given your propensity for off-the-rack blue button-downs.”

Patrick brought his eye down to the sweater, looking through it like a peephole. “This one is basically just a nipple hole.”

“A _stylish_ nipple hole that I paid $6,000 for.”

In Patrick’s shock at this revelation, David managed to snatch the sweater out of his hands. “Six THOUSAND dollars? Are you sure you don’t mean yen? Or Monopoly money?”

“It’s designer, Patrick.”

“Designed by who, a raccoon?”

“If you must know, it was Alexander McQueen, and I own one of only twelve in existence.” David turned towards the bathroom, sweater in hand. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going into the bathroom to put this on and prove you wrong.”

“Why in the bathroom? I’ve seen more of you than that,” Patrick said with a smirk.

“Yes, but you need to get the full experience by seeing it all at once, and you simply could not be trusted to keep your eyes shut while I’m changing if your life depended on it.”

“Who says?”

David shut the door, leaving his response muffled: “Me says.”

Patrick cocked his head, considering this. “Poor grammar notwithstanding, do you really think so much of yourself, and think that my attraction to you is so all-consuming, that I couldn’t tear my eyes off you if my life depended on it?”

David stuck his head out the door. “Um, yeah. I mean, look at me.”

“You really think me a simpleton Orpheus, huh?”

“I don’t know what that means. Now, are you ready to see this sweater as it’s meant to be seen?”

“I suppose.” 

Patrick studied David curiously as he stepped fully out into the room. 

David crossed his arms, vaguely uncomfortable and more nervous about this than he was willing to let on, but not willing to stand down.

Finally, Patrick said, “Okay, I’m gonna be honest, it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It’s… kinda hot.”

“Thank you,” David said sarcastically, with an overly dramatic curtsy. 

Patrick approached him slowly, stepping into David’s space. He leaned in to kiss him, then turned his head away, instead poking David in the stomach through one of his sweater holes. 

David jerked back, then froze, eyes still closed from the kiss he was expecting. He let out an exasperated breath at Patrick’s unabashed giggling. “Patrick, I am never speaking to you again.”

“Oh, really?” Patrick responded with a smirk. “Because we _kind of_ run a business together, and even if you want to get rid of me, we would have to talk to a lawyer about that, and that involves a pretty hefty amount of verbal communication, unless you want to do the entire thing via email, which is pretty nontraditional and I’m not sure we could find a lawyer who —“

David cut him off with a kiss, and Patrick quickly melted into it with a smile. 

After a moment, David pulled back. “Okay, I’m going to go take this off now.” 

He went to step away, but Patrick grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. “Leave it on.”


End file.
